Thursday, 19 February 2015

That Professor Said What...? PART i

Since we all lead busy lives and are constantly making deadlines, I thought it would be nice to put up something a little different on here. I have professors, you may have them too, but it's always better to have a laugh in life, and frankly, some of the things they either don't make quite enough sense, or they are on the verge of being either risque or insulting. The latter often fall just short of inappropriate and therefore leave the hearers awkwardly squirming in their seats.

In sum, these posts will be a continuation on the hilarity I find throughout the academic week. With that, feel free to 'lol' or squirm awkwardly.

A Professor on tips for his exam essay questions, in a much quicker-paced but Forrest Gump voice:
"Now remember. I grew up on a daaaaairy ranch, and for the first eighteen years of my life I woke up at the crack of dawn to clean out the cow stalls. Believe you and me; I cleaned more out of those stalls than you can imagine. So don't go writing just any old thing down for your essay...I know a bunch of CS when I see it. And only some of you really got what I meant by that."

Statistics Prof on a variable:
"So when it is high," (pause) "Oh you know what I mean... ."

Biology Dept. Prof on bacterial metabolism and reproduction:
"...which is exactly why the proton gradient is so very paramount to this specific bacterium! The male sex will have an exponential amount of sperm while the female, well," (points to female student in front row) "you don't have an exponential amount of're born with all you'll ever have!!" 

Oh thanks. Now what.

Until next thyme.

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